Aiming

My dear daughter's mind

I was at the table, working a bit on school for the fall.  The child sat down next to me and asked, "Can you imagine eating an entire cinnamon roll while wearing a corset?"  I actually can't imagine doing either of those things alone, let alone simultaneously.

A lesson

So, on our counter we have a jar into which we've put two caterpillars.  I didn't want to do it, for fear of killing them, but our neighbor said, "Come on, Amy!"  So I did.  They are now in their crusty brown stage; one, a week further along than the other.  The younger one still writhes around when we move the jar, and today Sophie asked why.  I said, "Hey!  I'm trying to become a butterfly.  Please leave me alone.  This is a miraculously difficult work."  And then I was like, "No.  Actually not."  All that creature has to do is be.  God does the miraculously "difficult" work.  Ha!  And so what must I do?  My job.  Which is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever.  That's all I have to do.

A job well done?

So, Ty was recently going to be in a situation in which he needed to be very thankful.  And so beforehand, I was reminding him to say "Thank you."

To which he responded, "You know, I think that you kind of raised me too well.  I say "Thank you" all of the time, sometimes too much that it's weird."

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And then G.  Recently we've been juicing.  The friends from whom we bought our house left us a juicer and since my body needs all the vitamins (said the British way because it's more fun) it can get, we're juicing.  And G has learned to use the machine from Rob.  So the other day he made me peach, lemon, pear juice... so that I'd feel "ALIVE."  Afterwards, I was going to bring my cup to the kitchen and G said, "No.  Just go sit down.  I don't want you to get stressed out.  Let me do all of the dishes first."  OK!

My children

Well, first there's this...

The child came into our room in the morning, saying, "I wish I had a big, fluffy tail."  "Go make yourself one."  And so he did!

After returning from the store with Rob, G came into my room with a sly smile on his face and said, "Well, we didn't stick to the list like eels."  Ha!  Rob NEVER sticks to the list.

And around the same time, Ty came towards my room with something in his hand, saying, "It needs a proper..."  Rob started freaking out.  G was like, "Ew."  "... burial."  The kid had a dripping, dead mouse that he had found outdoors in his hand and he was bringing it to me to be buried.  I just laughed.  You see, I'm trying to channel my inner Ann with an e.  I don't have much of her in me anymore to channel, but I'm scraping.

Thoughts from the chemo chair

Well...

Today, I was naughty.  When I was diagnosed with cancer this time back in January or February and we knew with what we were dealing, my dear Dr. told me not to go looking for survival statistics on the Internet.  I agreed that that would be a bad idea.  Once something goes in, I CANNOT get it out.  This is why I usually only watch G and PG movies.  -a sigh-

I don't know what came over me.  Maybe I was short on oxygen, masked up as I was.  I searched.  And then I cried my eyes out, sitting alone at 6'15 AM in the chemo waiting area being asphyxiated by the chemicals the worker was using to disinfect all of the chair arms.  Not good: the fumes or the stats.  But, you know, it's all out there, so I then searched for the stories of those who lasted a good ten years; and the testimonies are there.

What I really, really want is to graduate all three of my children from ManSoul Academy.  After that, I'll happily go.  By then, my sibs. should have the magenta lights ready for me and it'll be peaceful.  Rob is the one who got through uni. almost debt free.  He got a great job right away.  He's the man for them then.  I have no dreams of weddings or grandbabies.  None.  Maybe for a reason.

As we all know, though, none of this is up to me.  God numbered my days before I was born.  My job is to trust his perfect wisdom and be thankful for the Body of Christ that surrounds us.  Everything else is meaningless.  (Can you guess where I have been reading lately?  I'm about to wear those pages out!)

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The day ended up much better in the end, but still sad.  We said goodbye to the ONLY male citizen from a certain country that I have ever liked.  He goes home tomorrow and we are really going to miss him.  -another sigh-