A sigh

 I am Damocles.

Out of the mouth of my babes

 Ty:  "Mamá loves Papá, Gussy and Juanes."  (I had to point out to Rob that he was first on the list.)

Sophie:  We were listening to a Jars of Clay Christmas song and it said something silly about "putting on our winter skin," and she said, "My skin is not at all pretty in the winter."  I commented that surely a white person had written those lyrics.

Girumy:  "This soup warms me delightfully."

Ty:  "I hope I don't wake up from this dream!" regarding the delight caused by our surprising new addition.

What.a.day.

When your kids start off the morning with sparkling apple cider in champagne glasses, it's bound to be a great day.  Sophie's front tooth was finally fixed.  Rob brought me a mocha.  Кошка came to us.  And Sophie, and then Girumy, lost a tooth.  Oh, and it was 50 degrees.  Noice!

A spot by the sea

You know how in the olden days people were prescribed a season at the sea as a cure for so many ills?  Well, we tried it out, thanks to our dearest R____s.  It certainly worked as a cure for my mind, if not for my body.

Wisconsin, Illinois, Indiana, Kentucky, Tennessee, North Carolina, South Carolina and Georgia.  Shoo!  Rob was a driving machine.  I nearly fainted through the mountains of southern Kentucky.  And the kids were champs!

Every day was spent at a different beach, soaking in the rays and the briny sea, walking miles in the sand.  G's opinion is that Edisto Island Beach was the best, followed by Hilton Head, Tybee and finally Hunting Island.  Apart from the superior waves for body surfing at Edisto, G caught, cleaned and ate a croaker from there.

My opinion is almost the opposite, as Hunting and Tybee were the best for walking.  The afternoon we visited HH, it was so chilly and windy for me, although Ty had a different opinion.

Sophie's favorite memory is being flipped by a wave at Tybee and having her lip split.  Her blood now mingles with the waves... all the way to Audrey?  Ty loved playing in the water and having new kinds of sticks to turn into swords and bows.  And I loved the trees dripping in Spanish Moss...

... although... well, I was quite overwhelmed by the thought of slaves, suffering under those trees, running away through those trees.  It was heavy, despite my silliness in that photo.

We also had many interesting animal sightings: (sting) rays, dolphins, fishing pelicans, terns, hermit crabs and all sorts of other creatures in the tide pools, feral cats, vultures eating a roadkilled armadillo, a horseshoe crab, pee-jumping frogs, a little lizard, oysters, and a monkey... on a leash.  

We capped it all off by a ti-zasty Thanksgiving dinner (made on about 6 square inches of counter)

and a trip to the Hwy. 21 drive-in theater.

It was so great!  You know, it was our first family vacation, ever.  Yes, we've been to Ethiopia together; but that's travelling, which is certainly not relaxing, although I LOVE it.  I hope we can do it again.  Which?  Both!  :)

Around here

Last weekend's fun continued with a day spent with our dear Samir and Lizeth.  In addition to hanging out, Samir gave the kids their first electrical engineering lesson.  Our friends had bought them an Arduino to learn circuits and programming, but it sat in the drawer for a while, since I... well, since I couldn't.  By the end of the lesson, we could all make a closed circuit with a shining LED.

We also, to enjoy this best weather, cooked lunch out on Saturday.  A week earlier, our dear Farmer Tim had given the boys some bacon, which we froze to use on our Thanksgiving turkey loaf.  The next weekend, Tim asked the boys how they had liked it, to which they responded that we were saving it.  "What?!  Here's some more.  Go home and eat it."  So, since I don't abide the smell of bacon, we decided to cook it out over the fire... and then there were scrambled eggs over the fire, pudgy pies in the fire, Neighbors' dinner over the fire... It was great!  What did we ever do without that fire pit?

What else?  Oh, Kyle came to visit and make us oh-so-happy for a bit.  Rob is seriously allergic!

And then, Girumy figured out, with an assist from papA, how to burn things with his magnifying glass and the sun.  What?!?!  He made me a Happy Gingko.

My happiest birthday... EVER

Where do I even begin?  At the beginning.  OK.

I woke up to a polka-dot ballooned dining room, flickering cruellers and the ecstatic faces of my beloveds.  After a relatively calm breakfast, puncutated with gifts (My daughter knows me... oh yeh, Kettle Chips!), we relaxed outside with a morning fire.  Nice.

After a tasty Indian lunch, we had "rest" time, during which two more gifts arrived: an emotional support animal in the guise of a VERY LARGE teddy bear from Ty (that I named Gerard, said the French way, of course) and a cozy, COZY hat from Girumy.

Then, while enjoying a decaf. mocha, we all snuggled on our new red couch up in the Speakeasy and watched an episode of The Great British Baking Show.  I was so happy to be with my precious ones.

And then the kids began to ask for the time, time and time again.  Rob kept looking at his phone.  Another fire was started in the backyard.  A chair was placed in the front yard.  Hm.  And then they began to arrive... Paul, Mari and Don, Glennda and Tom, Yiwa, Asher, MattMatt and LeighLeigh, the Wetzels and the Mattkes...

    "We love Mrs. Stensberg / Which is why we have made / A special poem to say Happy Birthday! / Of all the things we love about you / Here are just a few / You love to garden / So your dirt won't harden / You love to travel / So your tension can unravel / In your favorite pair of pants / You delight in visiting France. / She loves learning language / Her foreign guests to encourage / You love to climb tall towers / To view the brilliant sunflowers / While reading a book / She delights to cook. / These few things are just the tip of the iceberg / There is so much more to know and love / About Mrs. Stensberg.

... Grace and Laura, the Johnson ladies, the Dewitts, Carlos, the Ryan Fam., Cheri with the booming drive-by, Adam, Nancy, and the police.  Yes.  The police.  I walked over to the car, "Are we in trouble?"  And the officer on the passenger side just kind of stared at me.  "What's going on?"  "It's my birthday... and (Yep, I did it.  I pulled out the cancer card.), well, I have cancer and it might be my last, so we're living it up."  And then he told me about his mother's cancer and ended by saying that they just stopped by to say "Hi."  They drove away.  The masked chatting continued, and... the police came back.  With a cake!  The officer joked that he felt awkward for not having anything to give me the first time they stopped, so he went and bought me a cake.  For real?  Yes, for real.

Slowly, The Few made it to the backyard where RaRa began dishing up guaca and chips, the PoPo Cake, my tasty cheesecake and Jare's flatbread and hummus, all to be washed down with pink lemonade.  Masked chatting, masked children running here and there.  Saturn, Jupiter, Mars and the Moon (O, and Jim too) even stopped by.  

And then Rob was quite insistent that we had to go in for another surprise.  "Get your phone and your tablet."  I was thinking, "Why in the world should I need both?"  FaceTime.  Connected.  Disconnected.  Click the link.  Thinking, thinking, thinking... FINALLY.  "What?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?"  "Are you kidding me???????????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  Sara and Dru had arranged for Gus, my dear Gus, to send me birthday greetings.  I just stared at the screen, like he was really in front of me, crying and nodding.  

All of that, with all of the texted love from near, far and 30 years ago, made my happiest birthday EVER.

God is too good to me.

Click. Click. Click.

 

G has taken an interest in photography lately.  In the course of a few days, he has learned to use that camera more than I have over the past 11 years.  Ha!  

Norman the Snuggler

 

Our dear friends brought their Snuggle of Love over to cheer me up today.  Too sweet.  For most of the time, he just curled up under my arm or put his head on shoulder.  Aw.

"No, no, no, Amy!"  "Do not be insane!"  "It's the chemicals talking!"  "Pam and Dex are only temporary friends.  Do not let them convince you to make any lasting decisions!"

My dearest children

     G has been waiting all summer for Fezzik the Sunflower to be done stunning us so that he could turn the stalk into an impressive bow.

 

Hungarian Homeboy hooked us up with some wood for our firepit, which necessitated a LOT of work from the kids and me.  Here the boys are enjoying the fruit of their labor: Whittle World!                                            

Thank you, G-ma, for the Ikea boxes!

Garlic girl, c'est moi.

 So, had I lived in la Mancha, don Quixote and Sancho surely would have found their way to me.  My garlic scent would have wafted them in; because, you see, don Quixote would have thought that a beautiful woman was bathing in a tub of flowers and he would have wanted to promise his protection to her.  I would have offered to cook him dinner, but he would have declined, love-sick as he would be; however, Sancho would have sneaked in the back door and joined us at our tasty, garlicky dinner.

I have just roasted about 100 cloves of garlic, to use this winter.  In addition, I divided up many heads into their cloves and planted them.  I believe I've planted 101 so far.  My house smells like garlic, the yards smell like garlic and I smell like garlic.  Yummy!

G Jones

It would be clearer if I called him Indiana Girum, but, well... we all know how I feel about that state, so I'd rather not.  :)

Um, I think he's growing.

Girumy was on the end of my bed, saying,

 "A hot dog with lettuce and tomato,

Spaghetti and meatballs,

Waffles with butter,

Grilled cheese with a fried egg on top,

Piece of kringle with coffee,

A three-story high blueberry muffin,

A piece of bacon,

Creamy pizza,

A Colectivo falafel,

Cucumber..."

"Anything else?"  "Yeh...

A burrito with parsley, beans, rice, hot sauce and guacamole."

*Why won't blogger let me write with single spacing?

The first day of school

Today began with the children giving me flowers, as happens in Russia and Ukraine on the first day of school.  (Thank you, Glenndichka.)

4th/5th and 6th grades!  Ah!  Wasn't I just giving them bottles and changing their cloth diapers?!

The Reader

 

In his new Ethiopian Hug...

The Dearest Neighbors now pass on their papers to us, since G has been wanting to read the news and I don't want him using the Internet.  

Temporary insanity

-a big sigh-

So, when we first found out that I had The Big C again, a friend of mine was convinced that we should get a dog.  She was on the brink of getting us one when her husband suggested that she not.  Thank you, J.

But as time has gone on, the idea has crossed my mind too.  You know, something to distract me, some emotional support for all of us.  There is the issue of Rob's allergies, but there are "hair dogs."  Back and forth.  Back and forth.  I had settled on a Basenji.

Well, I, as of yesterday, have been totally cured of this insanity.  The scary Dobermans of my youth, the terrorizing Byeli of Ukraine and the supposedly sweet Mae of next door have kicked me off the fence and I've landed with a thud on sane ground.  Thank God!

The battle

Snarling canine, 

Homicide central,

And neglected dacha

Vs.

Aiming

My dear daughter's mind

I was at the table, working a bit on school for the fall.  The child sat down next to me and asked, "Can you imagine eating an entire cinnamon roll while wearing a corset?"  I actually can't imagine doing either of those things alone, let alone simultaneously.

A lesson

So, on our counter we have a jar into which we've put two caterpillars.  I didn't want to do it, for fear of killing them, but our neighbor said, "Come on, Amy!"  So I did.  They are now in their crusty brown stage; one, a week further along than the other.  The younger one still writhes around when we move the jar, and today Sophie asked why.  I said, "Hey!  I'm trying to become a butterfly.  Please leave me alone.  This is a miraculously difficult work."  And then I was like, "No.  Actually not."  All that creature has to do is be.  God does the miraculously "difficult" work.  Ha!  And so what must I do?  My job.  Which is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever.  That's all I have to do.

A job well done?

So, Ty was recently going to be in a situation in which he needed to be very thankful.  And so beforehand, I was reminding him to say "Thank you."

To which he responded, "You know, I think that you kind of raised me too well.  I say "Thank you" all of the time, sometimes too much that it's weird."

--

And then G.  Recently we've been juicing.  The friends from whom we bought our house left us a juicer and since my body needs all the vitamins (said the British way because it's more fun) it can get, we're juicing.  And G has learned to use the machine from Rob.  So the other day he made me peach, lemon, pear juice... so that I'd feel "ALIVE."  Afterwards, I was going to bring my cup to the kitchen and G said, "No.  Just go sit down.  I don't want you to get stressed out.  Let me do all of the dishes first."  OK!

My children

Well, first there's this...

The child came into our room in the morning, saying, "I wish I had a big, fluffy tail."  "Go make yourself one."  And so he did!

After returning from the store with Rob, G came into my room with a sly smile on his face and said, "Well, we didn't stick to the list like eels."  Ha!  Rob NEVER sticks to the list.

And around the same time, Ty came towards my room with something in his hand, saying, "It needs a proper..."  Rob started freaking out.  G was like, "Ew."  "... burial."  The kid had a dripping, dead mouse that he had found outdoors in his hand and he was bringing it to me to be buried.  I just laughed.  You see, I'm trying to channel my inner Ann with an e.  I don't have much of her in me anymore to channel, but I'm scraping.

Thoughts from the chemo chair

Well...

Today, I was naughty.  When I was diagnosed with cancer this time back in January or February and we knew with what we were dealing, my dear Dr. told me not to go looking for survival statistics on the Internet.  I agreed that that would be a bad idea.  Once something goes in, I CANNOT get it out.  This is why I usually only watch G and PG movies.  -a sigh-

I don't know what came over me.  Maybe I was short on oxygen, masked up as I was.  I searched.  And then I cried my eyes out, sitting alone at 6'15 AM in the chemo waiting area being asphyxiated by the chemicals the worker was using to disinfect all of the chair arms.  Not good: the fumes or the stats.  But, you know, it's all out there, so I then searched for the stories of those who lasted a good ten years; and the testimonies are there.

What I really, really want is to graduate all three of my children from ManSoul Academy.  After that, I'll happily go.  By then, my sibs. should have the magenta lights ready for me and it'll be peaceful.  Rob is the one who got through uni. almost debt free.  He got a great job right away.  He's the man for them then.  I have no dreams of weddings or grandbabies.  None.  Maybe for a reason.

As we all know, though, none of this is up to me.  God numbered my days before I was born.  My job is to trust his perfect wisdom and be thankful for the Body of Christ that surrounds us.  Everything else is meaningless.  (Can you guess where I have been reading lately?  I'm about to wear those pages out!)

--

The day ended up much better in the end, but still sad.  We said goodbye to the ONLY male citizen from a certain country that I have ever liked.  He goes home tomorrow and we are really going to miss him.  -another sigh-

The birthday that was

... along with Dex.-induced insomnia and medical appointments...

Decorating Dad

I LOVE the expression on my baby's face, seeing the new-to-her bike, complete with bling a la Tato Dru.

Yeh... this photo pretty much sums Ty up right now.

The kids' reaction to their birthday and gifts made Rob think of a quote from the movie The Count of Monte Cristo.  There is the rich friend and the poor friend.  And the girl who completes the love triangle says something like, "You got a pony.  He got a whistle.  And he was so much happier with his whistle."  Thank God this is the case with my babies.

The day was filled with scones, hot dogs (Thank you, Gl.!), pizza, pies, tacos, and spaghetti; birthday undies, a pogo stick, kettle chips galore and jammies; FaceTime calls from People that Love, the Wetzbergs and Tita and Tito.  God is good to us!

Out of my babes' mouth

Upon seeing a bunch of math facts worksheets, Sophie said, "I would work myself into a fit if I had to do all of that!"  (In fact, she will work herself into a fit if I don't find some large-print versions.)

G ran into my room after returning from a family (minus me) bike ride and said, "We just had the most perilous bike ride!"

Happiness

A boy, his bike and mud!

My men!

The three of my men scraped and repainted our old garage.  Shoo!  They worked hard for three straight days.  I'm so proud of the young ones.

The bibliophile lives!

Back in February, I quit reading, except for the Bible.  I thought that there was no point since, well, who knew how long I'd last.  Maybe it was the good news from the scan (Although the same question remains.), maybe I'm feeling starved, I don't know.  For whatever reason, I'm going to begin reading again.  I'm going to start with Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm (I know that should be underlined, but I'm having some trouble with the button and... "Ain't nobody got time fo' dat!").  And then I'll continue with a commentary on Hebrews, a book about ADD and Little Britches.  Oooo.  It feels good.

LF

I have LF.  I'll just leave it at that.

But in response, my dear child said, "I just wish that we could go to the jungle, where there is no news, and be free."  My baby!

Summer fun

For the record: I am not ignoring what's going on.  I'm focusing on my family right now.

My kids have been sleeping in our tent in the backyard; riding their bikes MILES around our block; jumping, jumping, jumping rope; practicing archery (with Ty's homemade bow that totally works!); rambling at the dacha; climbing trees; and eating mint out of the yard.

Thank you, God, for these gifts.  YOU are good.  YOU are ALWAYS good.

An act of love

Somewhere in India, a mother has wrapped a red string around a tree for me.

Jumping update

Ty: 27 (and he's fast!)
G: 34 (and he jumps high)
S: I don't have a count for her, but she's into jumping forwards, backwards, criss-cross, with doubles

Answers

The other day, you know, Ty asked a very difficult question.  Will I remember him in heaven?  -a sigh-

On chemo day, I speed-read (sped-read?) through the Gospels and Revelation and this is what I came up with:

1.  Heaven and being with God forever, is not about us.  It's about Him.  So, let's not think about it...?

2.  We are relational, like our God, and that fact can only get better in Heaven where there is no sin.  One must know someone to have a relationship with him/her.

3.  Rev. 21 says, "they will be my children."  Children of one father know each other is a perfect world, which Heaven will be. 

Only three ideas, I know; but remember!  I was being poisoned at the time.  Drip.  Drip.  Drip.

I was given today, though.  I hugged Ty, I soothed him, I let him sit on me while drawing, and I counted his jumps.  (He's only up to 5 with the jumprope.)  Thank you, God, for today.  May I please have tomorrow?

My Ty... the Indian?*

So, Ty has often wanted to eat with his hands, saying that he's Ethiopian and that how it's done.  Usually I let him do it, because, well, it's true.  But usually, that means breaking off a piece of injera and pinching a mouthful.

Tonight I needed some soul food; so thanks to our GENEROUS friends, we had Indian.  And Ty wanted to eat with his hands... Indian style.  This means mixing everything up with your fingers, forming a mouthful and carrying it home.  My baby!

*I mean, he did crash an Indian baptism once, so...

My Ty

So, the other day, Ty dragged me into my room, shut the door and began to cry and hug me.  "I love you.  I need you to know that.  You are in my heart and I don't want you to go."

Ugh.  It's been emotional around here, especially with Mothers' Day and the approaching tell-all CT scan.

Later at dinner, he said, "There is one thing that I'm jealous of... that you'll get to see how heaven is first."  And I said that it will be amazing to be free... I won't remember the sadness, the problems, the...  "Will you remember me?"  Ugh.  And then we were all sobbing.  I don't know.  I busted out the Grudem's Systematic Theology, but it gave me no answer.  I told him that I know that there will be people from every tribe, nation and tongue and that he'll certainly find me amongst his Wollaitan people (since they've adopted me as half-caste), ululating and shhh-ing because of the glory of God.  

I plan on spending my day at the hospital searching the Bible for an answer.  Maybe there isn't.  

Dex is back!

Whoa!  Yesterday Dex and I got SO much done!  We made granola, started kombucha, made a Falafel Feast, gardened, hung out two loads of laundry to dry in the blessed sun, sorted through all of Sophie's hand-me-downs to find a summer stock, sorted through all of the kids' shoes, did a Mary Poppins on the kids' rooms, and... I'm sure there was more... oh yes, we scrubbed the bathroom floor.  And then after a 6 AM breakfast this morning, we mopped the wooden floors.  Whew!

Playing at the chateau

Ty's opinion

During a TASTY dinner of kale and bean burritos tonight, we were all laughing at Rob's air-piano action to a Switchfoot song, and Ty said, "Don't we have the best family?"  "Yes, yes, we do."

At the D with the Big C

Last weekend was gorgeous... warm, sunny, beautiful, and so we went to work at the dacha.  "Work." Rob worked.  The kids worked on their cave.  I... well, I would place a few potatoes in their hole and then have to sit down to catch my breath and drink some water.  A few more potatoes placed, and more rest and water for me.  I was so weak.  I don't like being weak.  I can't even enjoy my favorite activity anymore.  I'm sad.

This morning's music a la Ty

Today, he started out humming the Star Wars theme song and then all of the sudden he sang, "Voices in my head!"  (I do not know where that came from.)  Next came Star of the County Down (about 5x faster than it should be.), Minstrel Boy, English Country Gar-ar-ar-ar-den, Molly Malone, and he finished with Hail the Blessed Morn.  At the end of the last, the kid did something crazy with his voice and took the last verse up a key.  If Femi had heard that, he'd sign him up for his team NOW!

"Did you like that MamA?"  "Am I a born singer?"  And Girum said, "It's because your name is Get..." (who is Ty's namesake and is a rather well known Ethiopian praise singer).

My baby!

My personal DJ with ADD on speed

Ty sings when he does his chores.  He almost always has.  Usually I like it, but sometimes... Shoo!

This morning he started out with a camp song, with lots of "wahoos" and "yehs."  Rob was like, "Aw."  But before Rob had gotten that sweet feeling out, I heard, "la Macarena."  What?!  Thankfully he doesn't know many of the words, so he passed on to Jesus is my Living Hope for a bit.  Right now he's singing an original piece with lots of vibrato.  I'm just waiting for the Leatherwing Bat or the Minstrel Boy to finish off his crazy medley.

Whatever.  The breakfast dishes are done and he's cleaned up and ready for the day.  If that's what it takes!

My omnivores

Twice in the past two or three weeks, one of the boys has asked, "Are you sure this isn't goat, PapA?" To which PapA has answered, "I have no idea what that is" to the continual chewing and swallowing by the Little Men.  (At least we didn't have to see it slaughtered like once upon three years ago!  Ha!)

N.t.B.

I wanted to join Peace Corps again, with Rob when he retired.
I wanted to float down the Congo river in a pirogue.
I wanted to spend summers with the kids in Colombia, for our Spanish.
I wanted to run a B&B in France.
I wanted to spend a month in summery Yevpatoria, Crimea with my family.
I wanted to eat my way through India.
I wanted to be a foreign missionary.
I wanted to ride the Trans-Siberian railway from end to end.
I wanted to walk el Camino.
I wanted to take a year with the family and drive a VW bus from Alaska to Patagonia.
I wanted to drive from Florida to Quebec, following the strawberry harvest.
I wanted to get my M-Div.

Oh well.

Re-use

Well, since I can never in life use this glass for wine again, I've decided to fancy-up my afternoon de-dehydration potion.  He!

Together, but not really

An Easter Sunday neighborhood listening to the Hallelujah chorus, followed by a disinfected egg hunt.

Studying...

... is apparently easier with the Colombian hat and a dried cranberry snack.

A message (regardless if my pruning brought it about)

My Thanksgiving cactus currently has one bloom on it.  I guess it's reminding me to be thankful, so...

-my family

-my peeps

-that chemo is over for a couple of weeks

-the aronia and raspberry plants that arrived yesterday

-my cushy bed

-Miss C.M.

-smoothies

-the birds that sing all around

-Sophie's sweet notes and midnight snacks

-blooming hyacinths

-our neighbors to the south

And of course the list could go on, but I'll stop now.  After all, there is only one bloom on the plant!

Meet my other new friend, Dex*

Every three weeks, I get to spend three days with my new friend, Dex.  We get on quite well together and he helps me to get so much done.  This week, he helped me clean the house, hem a pair of curtains, transplant berry bushes from our other house, start to prepare my herb garden and the backyard water drainage system, bake some (failed) sourdough bread, hang laundry outside in the restoring Spring air, and move all of the patio/garden furniture out of storage.  Wow.  I'm tired just listing all of that work.  He left last night, though, so now I'll pass out for a couple of days to recuperate.  

*Dexamethasone... for those of you worried that I was spending too much time with a man other than Rob.  

Thoughts from the chemo chair

Sometimes it's good to be the only butter cookie on a platter filled with Tim Tams.

Girum-boom

My baby!  Thank you, God!  Please, God!

Finally, hugs for papA.

There is an artist somewhere in there.  I just know it.

It all started with hatching a plan last night with the twins.  6 AM... OK.  Ty wanted to fold up some origami to festivize the place and Sophie wanted to make a sign.  At about 4:30 AM, Ty was awake, not to fall back to sleep.  So that meant that I was awake at about 5.  I somehow was able to stay in bed till 5:30, but then it was go-time.  Pancakes, chicken sausage and coffee.  Gifts.  An outdoor present giving with our neighbors (Yes, 6 feet away.).  Mexi-lunch and more gifts.  And it's not over.  We have a Mexi-dinner and a date with Tito and Tita through the window this evening.  A good day for my boy-man.

My baby!  Thank you, God!  Please, God!

--- later on ---

Taco dinner galore with carrot cake and...

... the BEST prezzy EVER!