Race

Gus, to Shawn, "You're talking like a real white guy.  You know brothers don't get the benefit of the doubt."

Off and on, over the past few years, I have thought seriously about the possible implications Race will have on my children and therefore family.  So far, my musings have been by my own initiative, which is a blessing: I can think in relative peace.

So far, mostly, I am just grateful for the rather racially integrated life we live, even though fellow adopting parents at a BCS' training we attended twice a few years ago totally didn't believe us, until The Cup proved our story.

During that training, we did the following activity:  We each had a cup and there were piles of differently colored beads in the center of the table.  We began by putting in a bead for each member of our family, including our then as yet to be adopted child(ren).  The facilitator then read through a list of titles (your doctor, your pastor, your best friend, the protagonist in your favorite TV show, etc.) and we added a bead of the representative color to our cup.  At the end, we reflected on how that mix or non-mix will affect our children and what we could do to ameliorate the situation.

I have to say that had I been made to do this activity during my university years, I would have belligerently opposed the exercise and would most likely have ended up in tears.  Have I changed!  I still may end up in tears thinking about all of this, but for a different reason now.  "Thank you, children," say I.

Our current state of racial integration has come about by choice and chance, but all by God.  I think of our pediatrician, whom I chose because she is an African woman doctor.  This was a conscious choice as a result of the cup activity.  There is our church, a beautiful example of the diversity, in so many ways, of God's people.  I think of my surgeon and oncologist, gifts from God.  My children know well who Drs. W. and C. are and that they took the cancer from me.  I think of so many dear friends, other bi-racial families.  I think of being invited to participate in Black History Month activities and of being an Honorary Ethiopian at African Global Gateway.

I know that one day, unfortunately, the reality of the latter portion of Gus' statement will rear its ugly head and we will have some serious issues through which to work.  I am hoping, though, that these mixed foundation years will help.  God help us all!